Friday, November 18, 2005

Your hit parade

Now, the latest Solid Gold #1 Hit in British Columbia, from Hurl Maggot, it's "Druggie from Vancouver"!

We smoke lots of marijuana in Vancouver;
We love our drug-filled high society.
We take a crap in the middle of the main street;
To us, that’s livin' right, and bein' free.

I'm proud to be an druggie from Vancouver,
A place where getting high is such a ball.
We con the politicians into helping,
And the next high’s still the biggest thrill of all.

We don't make a party out of lovin';
We just pump the cash and then go screw;
They‘re gonna give us government bordellos,
With ladies who know what the f*** to do.

I'm proud to be an druggie from Vancouver,
A place where getting high is such a ball.
We con the politicians into helping,
And the next high’s still the biggest thrill of all.

Ripping tourists is still in style for boosting cash flow;
Because the cops, you know, they won't be seen.
We make hockey look like playing patty-cake;
If you cross us when we’re down, we get real mean.

I'm proud to be an druggie from Vancouver,
A place where getting high is such a ball.
We con the politicians into helping,
And the next high’s still the biggest thrill of all.

We still use our needles down at the courthouse,
In Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, eh?

(With apologies to the great Merle Haggard)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Sing along with The Great Pumpkin

Pay a visit to Pumpkin Watch, where the Great One is organising a sing-along of popular Christmas tunes adapted to the political realities of 2005.

Aliens occupy top Democrats

THE PENTAGON (DP) -- Federal investigators are conducting a top-secret investigation into the apparent occupation of a number of prominent political figures by alien creatures, a very high source said today.
"This is a much bigger investigation than the one into Scooter Libby," said the source, who agreed to comment on condition that his name not be given to Bob Woodward, Matt Cooper, Judith Miller or Michael Isikoff. "This is going to uncover a lot of people."
Another source, who is not quite as high as the first source but is usually way up there, indicated that the aliens have targeted Democrats for their takeovers.
"It's easy to see, and you can almost see the progression," the second source said.
"It started with Howard Dean. He was probably the first to go. Then Kerry and Edwards and Durbin and Reid and Pelosi and Rockefeller and Kennedy all went around the same time. Schumer and Biden, too. Now, it seems like most of Congress has been taken over."
The symptoms are identical in each case: an inability to recognize things that they had said in the past.
"They will deny they ever said this-and-that," the second source said. "And they'd be right, only because the aliens hadn't taken over them when they made the original statements."
Asked why the aliens targeted Democrats, the source said, "It's easy. Low brain power plus high ambition leaves one vulnerable to the kind of delusional thinking that aliens seeking assimilation can capitalize on."
The first source observed that one prominent Democrat appears, for the moment, to have avoided the alien invasion.
"Hillary Clinton hasn't been taken over yet, as far as we can tell," he said. "We are investigating if she is, in fact, a long-established alien being trying -- with the help of fellow aliens from her home planet of Marxisto -- to derail rivals in her bid for the presidency."
A White House spokesman declined to comment on the investigation, but observed that "a lot of Democrats have been acting very strangely lately."


Linked at Don Surber.

Carnival News

My man Fitch is hosting the Carnival of Comedy this week.
And the Skwib returns with a new Carnival of Satire.
Check 'em out.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Historic precedents

For Paul Martin Jr. to maintain his grasp on the Liberal Party, and the government of Canada, discrediting Jean Chretien is not just a convenient way to attempt to distance himself from the corruption uncovered in Adscam, it is an absolute necessity to separate the present Liberal Party from the past.
This is not new in the grand scheme of history.
About 50 years ago, a gentlemen by the name of Lin Biao (or Piao) orchestrated the Cultural Revolution in Communist China. It turned into a disaster. So the party's leaders began a campaign to smear Lin and all those who had led and engineered the Cultural Revolution -- including, at one point, as I recall, the widow of the "sainted" Chairman Mao, the man whose thoughts Lin had collected and turned into a best-seller among the leftists of the 1960s. The party maintained its grasp on power, and Lin was soon forgotten.
At around the same time, in Russia (then known as the U.S.S.R.), the excesses of the late dictator, Joseph Stalin, were coming to the forefront. The leaders of the party began a campaign to minimize the deification of Stalin that had taken place during his reign of terror. It was, in large part, successful. The party maintained its power for another quarter-century.
Martin's campaign is along those lines.
But there is a fundamental difference.
Jean Chretien and his supporters are striking back, something that would not be heard of in the Chinese and Russian regimes of that day. They would have been shot or put in some gulag, never to be heard from again.
Paul Martin Jr. reminds me a great deal of Richard M. Nixon, the discredited U.S. president -- and the only one to resign: Two insecure men, both with an almost pathological need to hold their nation's highest office, willing to do whatever it takes to maintain that office once achieved. Nixon ran all kinds of dirty tricks to ensure his re-election in 1972, even though he did not need any of 'em. The McGovern campaign was a shambles, McGovern was too far off the left map for most Americans -- and don't forget the Tom Eagleton now-he's-the-VP-nominee, now-he's not farce. It was the coverup of the dirty tricks, not the dirty tricks themselves, that brought Nixon down. And it was his own party in the end -- with Barry Goldwater and Hugh Scott, the right and left of the Republican party -- delivering the final blows. It took the GOP, despite the Reagan Revolution, almost 20 years to rebuild to the point where it could become a political force across the spectrum (and did, thanks to Newt Gingrich, Hillary's health care power grab, and the Contract with America).
In his first election after engineering the palace coup that ousted Chretien, Martin Jr. should have carried an easy majority, as Chretien had, against a brand-new party with a little-known leader. Instead, he wound up with a very shaky minority government, propped up by an third-party leader who sold whatever principles he might have had to cut a deal which Martin Jr. never had any intention of honoring. Martin Jr. also disrespected centuries of Parliamentary traditions by refusing to acknowledge a spring no-confidence vote as such, a move smacking of the desperation of a despot clinging valiantly to power.
For Martin Jr., the final chapter has not been written. An election looms, possibly as early as January. The fate of Canada may rest in the balance. Separatism runs strong in Quebec and is growing dynamically in Alberta. Another Martin Jr. government will only feed the flames of separation in both provinces... putting the lie to the Liberal Party mantra that it is the Natural Governing Party, the only party that can reach all Canadians. Such hubris no doubt feeds the arrogance surrounding Martin Jr. and his sycophants.
A Liberal civil war coming into the election is more distinct a possibility now. Sheila Copps' columns in the Toronto Sun and Warren Kinsella's blogging offer signs that a counter-coup against Martin Jr. is a-brewing.
How Martin Jr. reacts to the dissatisfaction within his group could go a long way toward deciding Canada's future... and his own.
Will he be the next victim of a disassociation campaign?

Stephen Harper's scary agenda

I had an epiphany this morning.
Now I understand Stephen Harper's scary agenda.
It boils down to four words.
He wants an election.
There's never a good time for an election, if you listen to the Liberals. That's because it would interfere with their systematic looting of the Canadian treasury, from Adscam to Abocare (see Angry for an excellent series of reports) to Earnscliffe and Rob's still-up Liberal Scandal Record. Elections scare Liberals. People scare Liberals.

Calgary or Edmonton?

I've made a lot of friends in Alberta here in BlogWorld. Now, I want their (and your) opinions.
Calgary? Or Edmonton?
If I had to pick one city to visit, which would it be? (Of course, if it were in hockey season I would want to visit both to take in games in each city. I also would take in both during CFL season -- this may make me a pariah, but I find the CFL game more interesting than the NFL these days).
Bring it on, Albertans. Which one?

A dad takes pause...

Most of you may have, by now, heard about the 18-year-old in Pennsylvania who allegedly shot and killed his girlfriend's parents and took off with the girl on Sunday. (The local coverage of the case can be found here.)
The girl is 14 years old.
Our daughter is 14 years old.
I don't quite know how to put this, but something like this -- as bad as it is -- just makes you appreciate when you've got a good kid... and we do. You want to hug her a little tighter (at least, as tight as a 14-year-old will allow).
I keep thinking back to a column by the late Chicago journalistic giant, Mike Royko, written shortly after his first wife died. I don't recall the exact words, but the message was clear: When you love someone, say it to that person. Say it now. Always, always say it now.
That's damn good advice.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

How much is that surplus in the budget?

How big is Canada's budgetary surplus projection?
Everywhere you turn, you seem to get a different answer.
The Star says it's 13.4 (or is it really 4.5):
Projections included in the economic update showed that the federal government would have been headed for a whopping $13.4 billion surplus this year. But, including $6.6 billion earmarked for new programs and tax cuts today, the Liberals have announced $8.9 billion in new spending, bringing the projected surplus down to $4.5 billion for the current 2005-06 fiscal year.
The Globe and Mail says 11.2:
Federal coffers are overflowing with an $11.2-billion budget surplus— nearly three times more than predicted.
Canadian Press says 13.4 (down to 1.6):
Forecast surplus of $13.4 billion for 2005-06 to be trimmed to $1.6 billion after taking into account tax cuts, energy rebate, new spending and the contingency reserve.
CanWest/Global calls it around 11 (or is it 4.6):
The update projects budget surpluses, including money in the contingency fund and for economic prudence, of $4.6 billion this year, rising to $7.2 billion next year, and then increasing almost steadily to $9.8 billion in 2010-11. This year's surplus would have been about $11 billion were it not for the measures announced in the update.
CBC says 8.2:
One year ago, for example, Goodale's last economic and fiscal update projected that the surplus for 2005-06 would be $500 million, followed by $900 million in 2006-07. Monday's document revised those figures to $8.2 billion and $9.2 billion, respectively.
CTV basically agrees with Canadian Press:
All the new spending and the contingency reserve means that the forecast surplus of $13.4 billion for 2005-06 will be reduced to $1.6 billion.
And the Associated Press chimes in with 11.3:
Finance Minister Ralph Goodale said that due to an $11.3 billion surplus in 2005-06...
All these reports. All these different figures.
What's the deal?
How much is that surplus in the budget?
The one that you're trying to sell...
How much is that surplus in the budget?
Oh tell us please Mr Goodale.
UPDATE: Linked at Small Dead Animals. Thanks, Kate.
UPDATE: Also linked at, which is NOT the one featuring the praises of Paul Martin Jr.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Should the Senator stand trial?

Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D-W.Va.) belongs behind bars.
His own words make him indictable for a criminal act.
In an interview Sunday on one of the talking heads fests, Rockefeller admitted his criminality, as reported by Power Line:
I took a trip by myself in January of 2002 to Saudi Arabia, Jordan and Syria, and I told each of the heads of state that it was my view that George Bush had already made up his mind to go to war against Iraq – that that was a predetermined set course which had taken shape shortly after 9/11.
Tipping off Syria, which at the time was on the official list of terror-sponsoring nations? Just three months after 9-11? An admittedly close ally of Saddam Hussein? A fellow Baathist nation? The likely shipping point for any WMD caches? The home of many of the terrorist insurgents who entered Iraq during the war and early days of the insurgency? Come on, Senator. As Captain Ed argues:
What Rockefeller admitted was conspiring with the enemy during a state of war -- and he should be held accountable, especially considering his admission of the act on national television.
On what grounds? Well, Jay Tea at Wizbang discovered the Logan Act, which reads:
Any citizen of the United States, wherever he may be, who, without authority of the United States, directly or indirectly commences or carries on any correspondence or intercourse with any foreign government or any officer or agent thereof, with intent to influence the measures or conduct of any foreign government or of any officer or agent thereof, in relation to any disputes or controversies with the United States, or to defeat the measures of the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.
Let's go get us a special prosecutor to investigate this, eh?

In God he doesn't trust, so...

Noted American atheist/publicity hound Michael Newdow has opened a new front in his War on the Terror of Religion.
Now, as Jay at Stop the ACLU reports, Newdow is going to file a suit to remove the phrase "In God We Trust" from all U.S. currency.
Scary part 1: Newdow lives (and will no doubt file his suit) in the 9th Circuit, the most obscenely socialist judiciary this side of Beijing. This increases his chances for success exponentially.
Suggestion for bumper sticker: In God We Trust, In Michael Newdow We Don't.
Suggestion for resolution: Newdow gets his way, but has to pay the cost for (a) minting each and every one of the new coins required; (b) printing each of the gazillions of paper currency required for his project; (c) pay for replacing all of the currency each of us as U.S. citizens now possesses.
Put up or shut up, Michael, you hemorrhoid.