Thursday, March 16, 2006

Is this too perfect, or what?

The Canadian Sentinel over at Exposed Agenda discovered this classic picture...
Can you say good doggie?

Amateur night

Tomorrow, 17 March, is St. Patrick's Day.
I fully expect to be stopped in at least one -- and maybe more -- sobriety checkpoints on my way home from work tomorrow night.
St. Patrick's Day is always a highly-ranked amateur night. When it comes on a Friday, it approaches New Year's Eve as the top amateur night of the year.
What, you ask, is amateur night?
It's when all the infrequent and kinda-sorta-but-not-really-frequent imbibers invade their local taprooms to ingest copious quantities of adult beverages. It's sort of an orgy without the sex (although that may come later, depending upon one's ability to perform while stone drunk).
"That's the night ya stay away from the bars," said Al K. Hall, our local connoisseur of all things related to adult beverages, referring to amateur night. "Ya can't even enjoy a few dozen drinks in peace."
Of course, when you have infrequent imbibers out in droves, the MADDness of sobriety checkpoints come into play.
"It's gonna be fun... not," said a police friend of mine who expects he'll be on checkpoint duty tomorrow night. "I've done a few of these things and I swear I come home about half-knocked from the fumes from some of these jokers."
So, friends, beware of the amateurs. And let's be careful out there, eh?

Let's get this party started...

It's only the beginning, but...
TORONTO (CP) - Former privacy commissioner George Radwanski, who resigned amid an expense-abuse scandal in 2003, has been charged with fraud and breach of trust after a 26-month RCMP investigation.
Radwanski's lawyer Eddie Greenspan said the charges, one count on each offence, were laid by the RCMP late Tuesday in connection with a $15,000 travel advance issued to the former privacy commissioner.
He said the charges would give Radwanski an opportunity to clear his name more than two years after it was made public that he was the subject of a criminal investigation.
"The allegations were known way back over two years ago by the auditor general," said Greenspan. "We don't know why it took so long to charge him, but we're pleased at least that we now have the opportunity to clear his name."
Greenspan said Radwanski has been living under a cloud of suspicion and would "vigorously defend" himself against the criminal charges.
"It's a very difficult thing to try and obtain employment during a period of time when the entire country knows you're under investigation, and it's been very difficult for Mr. Radwanski," he said.
The RCMP also announced Wednesday that Radwanski's former chief of staff, Arthur Lamarche, was charged with the same offences.
The Mounties said they investigated Radwanski and his staff after the auditor general referred the matter to police following her 2003 annual report.
Greenspan said the lengthy investigation apparently turned up nothing that wasn't known in 2003, when auditor general Sheila Fraser discovered more than $500,000 in improper cash advances, travel and hospitality expenses in the privacy commissioner's office.
He suggested police may have been under political pressure to charge Radwanski, a former Liberal appointee who was forced to resign after the auditor general's damning report.
"I would hate to think that politics have a great role to play in investigations and charges, but I've been around long enough to know they do," said Greenspan.
When he quit in 2003, Radwanski accused members of Parliament of taking revenge for his aggressive approach to the job after a vote of non-confidence in the Commons and a staff revolt in his office over his lavish expenses.
Despite the auditor general's 2003 findings, Radwanski denied raiding the public purse to enjoy sumptuous lunches and costly trips at taxpayers' expense.
Radwanski eventually had his $82,562 severance package reduced to zero as a penalty as the government moved to try and recover some of the money it said was wrongly spent.
Both Radwanski and Lamarche are scheduled to appear in provincial court in Ottawa on April 20.
They each face maximum sentences of 10 years in prison on the fraud charge and five years on the breach of trust charge.

Mr. Greenspan, you're no dummy. You know perfectly well why charges weren't laid before this. Your client was on the "right" side then; now he's not. As you said, "I would hate to think that politics have a great role to play in investigations and charges, but I've been around long enough to know they do."
They helped your client stay out of the dock for two years, you blithering idiot.
Now go earn some of the money he's paid you.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Go read this - NOW!

Celestial Junk is one of those blogs that you have to check out regularly, to keep up with a couple of the sharper minds in the blogiverse, Junker and Debris Trail.
Junker has outdone himself with this post. A sample...
In a time of urgent crisis what would you give? What’s worth fighting for?
Go read the rest. It's worth it.

The Question Man

Welcome to the very first edition of The Question Man.
Dr. B. Reel, the director of the cracked research team here at either orr, answers your questions.
Let's start the show.
49erdweet asks, "And how long ago did Mr. Bennish find that stash of hemp he's been hiding?"
He didn't have to look far, 49er. It's that hair. It's really a dried marijuana plant. He trims a bit, gets high, and starts his lessons.
Garry P. asks, "As I can see re: your review post of your Frank Trainor CD (Tues Mar 7) that you have good taste and a good ear for music. Do you play an instrument and sing...either orr?"
Actually, Garry, either orr is a master of several instruments -- air guitar, air bass, air sax, and air harmonica. He also sings wonderfully in the key of off.
Jimmyb asks, "Why do liberals constantly say gun owners have small willies? Some say the same about people that own hot rods. I have guns and a Trans Am (made in Canada, I might add). Am I the exception that proves the rule, or is this whole theory a phallacy (sic)?"
Jimmyb, the fact of the matter is this: Liberals project their own insecurities onto others. Because they worry excessively about sex, they project that everyone else does, too. And they worry that their manhoods are insufficient. They also project phallic symbols into just about anything -- chicken wings, guns, pencils, even ties are not safe from their projectionism. Are you the exception? It doesn't matter, Jimmyb. As a blues singer once intoned, "It ain't the meat, it's the motion." And, as town lush Al K. Hall opined, "It ain't what ya got; it's what ya do wit' it."
Kermit asks, "What is the meaning of life? Especially, now that we don't have Richard Nixon to kick around anymore."
We always have Richard Nixon to kick around, Kermit. Even if he's dead, he's still a good target. But seriously, the meaning of life is simple -- First, do no harm to your fellow denizens of the bog. Second, remember the wisdom of the Silly Goose. Third, never ever vote for a liberal.
Dr. Phat Tony asks, "Save Jill or kill Jill? What's it gonna be?"
You don't ask easy questions, Dr. Phat. Jill, for those of you who don't know, is a goat. Dr. Phat Tony holds the keys to her continued existence. After a great deal of research on the topic, we here at either orr have decided that it must be Save Jill. Here's why: Islamofascists have a great number of recipes for goat's meat. Obviously, it is standard fare for pre-suicide bombers. Therefore, we must save Jill and all her many cousins. Save Jill - Starve an Islamofascist!
That concludes this edition of The Question Man.
This program will return when we get enough questions to do another show. It could be next week; it could be tomorrow; it could be 2525.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

March madness

Yes, it's that time of year again, when everyone becomes a college basketball expert.
Everyone probably has his/her own guide for picking the games in the NCAA tournament.
I don't have a guide for picking games, but I do have a guide for picking teams to pull for in the chase for the crown. It's not formulaic, as such, but it's mine.
So, with no further ado, here are the teams I will be rooting for in the opening weekend:
North Carolina-Wilmington: A hyphenated school always draws some sentimental support.
Penn: A Philly area team with a great coach.
Bucknell: A small school. I know the coach -- and he's damned good.
Gonzaga: Yeah, I know they've been ranked all year, but it's still a small school playing with the big boys.
Syracuse: Gotta root for the coal-cracker McNamara, from Scranton, Pa.
Air Force: They play a weird style that can drive big-name teams nuts.
George Mason: The home of more high-quality conservative thought than any other campus on the East Coast. Too bad they have to play another team I root for...
Michigan State: The anti-Michigan. Say no more.
Villanova: Yeah, they're the top seed and a Big East team, usually two very big strikes. But they're a Philly school, they play four guards and their coach is a class act.
So who's gonna win?
Aah, probably Connecticut or Duke.
Canadians alert: Connecticut has a star from Canada (Denham Brown from Toronto).
I still can't root for UConn, though.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Obituary page

Bernie Geoffrion, we shall mourn.
Slobodan Milosevic, we shall not.