The mystery of Kyoto-worshipping: Solved
The cracked research team at either orr has finally discovered the secret of Kyoto-worshipping.
It must be the tinfoil hats.
They must be wearing them the wrong way.
See, what has happened is that instead of reflecting heat, the hats are absorbing the heat and transmitting it to the heads of the Kyoto-worshippers.
This has caused two distinct effects which, in combination, turns a person into a raving Kyotophile.
1. The increased temperature caused by the improperly worn hats leads the wearer to believe that the world is substantially warmer than it was before.
2. The increased temperature of the wearer's brain that has resulted from the improperly worn hat has muddled the ability to think so significantly that the person is convinced that the world is going to burn up if another SUV is built.
It appears that the problem is irreversible, according to the cracked research team's director, Dr. B. Reel of the Institute of Deep Thoughts and Discount Duodenum Surgery.
Speaking from his main lab in Wapwallopen, Pa., Dr. B. Reel had this observation:
"The tinfoil hats of the Kyoto worshippers that I have examined appear to have been permanently welded into place by Strongus Mauricius, the mad scientist who deems himself the God of One World. It will take major surgery to reverse this process."
Hat tip to Toronto Star columnist Linwood Barclay, who needs to have his tinfoil hat removed immediately before he poisons the air further with his Kyoto proselytizations.