Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The real deal

In a residence on Sussex Drive in Ottawa, the phone rings. It's the special emergency line; the number is known to only a handful of people.
"This is P.D. Give the ho a portfolio."
The resident chuckles.
"Dat's a good line, boss. Rhymes and all."
"Just do it. Quick. It's all lined up."
In an office in the suburbs of Toronto, an older man calls a woman into his office. She is the man's daughter.
"Princess, I have some great news for you."
"What is it, daddy?"
"You're going to be Honorable."
"That's not great news, daddy. That means I won't have any fun."
"No, you silly girl. Mr. P.M. wants to make you an honorable, with your very own portfolio."
"But I'm not in that party. And my current boyfriend isn't either. What will I do?"
"You just go to Mr. P.M. and say, 'I'll join your party.' He'll be more than glad to take care of you."
"Mr. P.M.? Will he be my boyfriend now, Daddy?"
"No, darling, he's already married. But that nice Mr. Scott is available."
"Daddy, he's gay."
"Darling, no man can be gay under your spell."
"Ooh, Daddy, you say the sweetest things."
"Now, I'll call Mr. P.M. Have Miss Daisy drive you up to Ottawa to Mr. P.M.'s house. By the time you get there, it'll be all set."
"I'll be an Honorable? For real?"
"For real, princess."