Dear Canada,

Hi to our northern neighbours.
It seems you want a few things from us here in the U.S. of A. these days.
Well, it might not be a bad idea for you to turf, as you put it, your Liberal government when you have your next election.
See, we know all about the connections between your Prime Minister and some shady figures in the Oil-For-Food scandal. We know that's why he stabbed us in the back when it came to Iraqi freedom.
We can't trust that government any more. So if you return it, it's gonna cost ya.
You know how you've got that dispute about mad cow disease? Well, forget about a real settlement if the Liberals return to office.
Then there's that softwood dispute. Again, if the Liberals are back, this issue is going nowhere fast.
We see where Ontario, which appears to be the prime victim of Liberal disease, wants a third connection between Windsor and Detroit. In the U.S. system, you need the federal government on board with this if it's going to happen. No way will it get built if the Liberals stay in power. (It might not get done anyway, because Michigan's senators illegally leaked a secret FBI report about a judicial nominee they don't like just because he's a conservative.)
And there's the matter of passports.
The State Department here has come up with the idea that U.S. citizens will need to have passports when they return from Canada. No passport, no admittance. This is negotiable -- but only if the Liberals aren't around to negotiate with. Otherwise, we'll stick to our guns and the tourist business and the international trucking business will take the hit. And, face it, you need our business a lot more than we need yours.
Kapish?
You may be our neighbours, and most of you are quite good neighbours, but your government is no good neighbour. So, let your conscience be your guide.