Friday, October 14, 2005

The characteristics of a troll

The cracked research team here at either orr has tackled a difficult topic... that of trolls.
You know the type, probably too well.
Anyway, the team, led by Dr. B. Reel of the Institute of Deep Thoughts and Discount Duodenum Surgery in Wapwallopen, Pa., has come up with several characteristics of the species trollus idiotus.
1. The common troll (trollus idiotus basicus) is prone to hyberbolic rants which often have very little to do with what is actually written and very much to do with that person's mindset.
2. The more complex (more evolved, as it were) attack troll (trollus idiotus attackus) generally presents a gratuitous personal attack, preferring to slam the author(s) of the opinion as a way to carry an argument. This tactic, of course, exposes the weakness of the attack troll's position.
3. Further along in the development of this species is the Tourette's troll (trollus idiotus cussus). This example often launches into foul-mouthed rampages, quite often wishing that ill befalls the author of the opinion. This provides great insight into the character of the troll in question.
4. The most highly evolved (?) troll is the stalking troll (trollus idiotus ultimus). In addition to the characteristics of its less-developed brethren, this troll often hosts his/her own blog site, an inordinate amount of which is dedicated to rants -- usually accompanied by snide remarks -- about specific individuals with whom they disagree.
The kingdom of trolldom, the team found, is disproportially leftist in thought, though a few examples have been discovered on the right. It holds an inherent belief in its own superiority and fitness to rule and takes personally any challenge to any idea that a troll may express, which shows an inherent weakness in their position or in their faith in that position. Anything and anyone that might challenge -- or worse yet, invalidate -- the worldview of a troll is stone evil and must be berated.
The team did also find some other creatures with troll-like tendencies, but who lacked the fundamental indecency and blind loyalty to concepts to be classified as trolls. The weakness, as it were, is a willingness to agree to disagree in a civil manner. This is anathema to trolldom, which requires an undying loyalty to an inflexible, rigourous dogmatic ideological template.
As Dr. B. Reel and the team conduct further research on this topic, it will be presented here.

This is a milestone post... the 300th of this blog's history. Thank you for allowing it to continue as long as it has.