Dressing for Dhimmis

Given that Iran has declared its intentions to take over the civilised world, it's now also preparing programs to show us how we're going to live in the future. From Teheran TV comes this new programme:

Announcer:
Welcome to Dressing for Dhimmis, your best chance to prepare your wardrobe for the future under Islam. Here’s your host, Mahmoud Ahmahdenijihad.
Mahmoud:
Thank you, Abdul al-Wahhabi, audience, but remember, all glory goes to…
Audience:
Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah!
Mahmoud:
Yes, indeed, brothers in the Qu’ran. But let’s show our future subjects how they will dress. Let’s bring out our first model with the daytime burqa.
[A very slender model emerges]
Announcer:
This stunning burqa in blood-red matches exquisitely with this deep purple gown. It is well within the bounds of decency so lacking in the West.
Mahmoud:
Yes, indeed, Abdul. And for that, we give all glory to…
Audience:
Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah!
Mahmoud:
Indeed. But our model here looks ill. We do not have such thin people in Iran. She looks like a poster child for the poverty of the West. Ahmed [a burly bodyguard type emerges], take her and put her on a diet of two goats a day. And tell our producer not to hire such a waif like her again. We need healthy models to properly display the fashions of the future, a future filled with…
Audience:
Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah!
Mahmoud:
We’ll return with a look at evening wear in Dressing for Dhimmis.
Audience:
Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah!
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Band (to tune of Rock the Casbah by the Clash):
Bombing the barracks, bomb the barracks.
Great Satan won’t like it.
Bombing the barracks, bomb the barracks.
Announcer:
What a classic that was. Now, for the first time on one CD, you can get Hezbollah’s Greatest Hits. Remember such classics as “Blasted in Gaza,” “Terror in Tel Aviv,” “Jerusalem Blues” and “Suicide is Painless”…
Band (to tune of the Theme from M*A*S*H):
Suicide is painless,
When in great Allah’s service.
Six dozen virgins wait at heaven’s door.
Announcer:
And there’s so much more. Classics like “Hell in Haifa,” “Flood of Blood,” and so much more. Yours now, for the first time on one CD, for just $19.99. Order now.
Second announcer:
Call 1-555-JIHADIST. That’s 1-555-JIHADIST. Operators are standing by.
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Announcer:
We now return to Dressing for Dhimmis with Mahmoud Ahmahdenijihad.
Mahmoud:
Thank you, Abdul. As promised, it’s time for a classic evening burqa that will most assuredly bring the glory to…
Audience:
Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah!
Announcer:
Our evening burqa is a light purple, coordinated perfectly with the virginal white of the gown. An appropriate outfit for dining, going to evening prayers to…
Audience:
Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah!
Announcer:
And so much more.
Mahmoud:
Ah, this model is more like it. Much healthier. And quite ravishing in white.
Model:
This outfit is not for me.
Mahmoud:
Do you not wish to be desirable in the eyes of…
Audience:
Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah!
Model:
Let me speak this way. Sir, are you married?
Mahmoud:
Yes, I am.
Model:
It is surprising.
Mahmoud:
May I ask why you say that?
Model:
Yes. A good Muslim woman would never touch a pig.
Mahmoud (outraged):
Ahmed, take her away now!
[Ahmed and Abdul drag the model away, kicking and screaming]
Well, next time on Dressing for Dhimmis, we’ll have that model back to show what you wear to your execution. I’m Mahmoud Ahmahdenijihad. Join me again next time, when Dressing for Dhimmis give the glory to…
Audience:
Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah! Al-lah!
Announcer:
Dressing for Dhimmis is an Ayatolldyaso Production.