For Liberal Party Leader: John Kerry
The Liberal Party of Canada is looking for a new leader in the wake of last week's election debacle that saw the party of Paul Martin Jr. lose its minority government to a party that did not exist three years ago.
Look no further, ye lost of the Libs. Your saviour awaits.
John Francois Kerry.
Yes, he does live in Massachusetts now, but he can certainly afford to find a place in LaSalle-Emard from which to open his campaign.
In the particulars, he would fit in perfectly. After all, a one-time Harvard professor is being considered as a serious candidate for the Liberal Party leadership. Why not John Kerry?
He's not unattractive, I suppose.
He speaks French rather well (better than English, in fact), a requirement for leadership in Quebec.
He has no principles ("I voted for it before I voted against it.").
And he wants to run a country.
Want gay marriage? He used to be against it, but he can be for it.
Hate the military? He used to be in it; now he's against it.
John Francois Kerry and the Liberal Party -- perfect together.