The lost poems of Irving Dovetonsils
In an earth-shattering development in the world of poetry, researchers today announced that they have discovered the lost poems of Irving Dovetonsils, the little-known twin cousin of legendary 1950s "off-beat" poet Percy Dovetonsils.
Dr. I. Ambic, head of the poetry department at the Institute of Deep Thoughts and Discount Duodenum Surgery, led the team that made the discovery in an abandoned farmhouse between Mehoopany and Meshoppen, Pa., last week.
"Many poetry experts thought that Irving would carry on Percy's work after Percy vanished from the scene in the early 1960s," Dr. I. Ambic said. "Percy was overwhelmed by the death of noted comedian Ernie Kovacs and just vanished from the scene.
"But Irving wasn't the most stable sort of fellow and was insanely jealous of Percy's success. He was even more irate that in Percy's voluminous output was not one mention of him.
"Irving Dovetonsils' work, as a result, seems to be highly egocentric."
Here is one example of Irving Dovetonsils' poetry, entitled "It's All About Me":
Driving in my car
Oh, I hate the traffic
Never get ahead
Traffic makes me sick
Oh, so good to me
Time just slips away
Eternity at play
Friends and enemies all the same
Oh, to play the waiting game
Reality is all to blame
Love to have a drink
I stand at the sink
Blowing lunch with ease
Every time I please
Running back for more
Always near the door
Liquor makes me high
Sad to say goodbye
Dr. I. Ambic promises more from the Irving Dovetonsils file as soon as it can be translated from the original Pennsylvanian.
NOTE: There is a hidden message in this poem. Can you find it?