Thursday, July 28, 2005

Stash and Wash explain the Supreme Court nomination

I ran into a couple of old friends of mine, the brothers Stash and Wash, the other day on a quick sojourn north.
Over a few Yuenglings, we started to discuss the nomination of John Roberts to the U.S. Supreme Court.
More accurately, once I asked what they thought, they went on a long discussion. As best as I can recall it, here it is (warning: some of the language is definitely not politically correct):
"I'll tell ya, Wash, I tink dis guy is da right guy for da job."
"Yeah, Stash, he's got more smarts than Joe da lawyer in town."
"Is he Irish, Wash?"
"Looks like it, Stash. I know he's Cathlik."
"Good, Wash. Good Cathlik. Just like us." (Stash makes the Sign of the Cross. Wash follows suit.)
"But, Stash, he's gonna have some problems 'cause he's a good Cathlik."
"Whyzat, Wash?"
"Well, Stash, you know what our Polish pope, John Paul da Great, said about abortion."
"He didn't like it a little bit, Wash. Good man. Polish man." (Stash raises his Yuengling in a toast. Wash joins in.)
"Now, you know, Stash, that dere's a whole lotta people dat don't think dis guy should be on da Supreme Court 'coz he follows John Paul da Great on abortion."
"You mean, Wash, like dat Shoomaker guy outta New York?"
"I tink it's Schumer, Stash. Anyway, da guy don't like anybody what has 'deeply held personal beliefs.' "
"You mean like we believe in Yuengling and kielbasa, Wash?"
"Yeah, Stash, pass da kielbasa over here, huh?"
"Here you go, Wash."
"Tanks, Stash."
"So, Wash, dis Schumer guy, what does he b'leev in?"
"I tink, Stash, he b'leevs dat him and his looney friends should have da power and da rest of us can go pound sand."
"I'd like ta pound his head in da sand, Wash."
"Good idea, Stash, but dey don't have sand in Washington, D.C."
"Too bad, Wash."
"Hey, more Yuenglings here."
"So, Stash, we want dis guy Roberts to get in, right?"
"Right, Wash, even if he is Irish."