Ultimate weapon

(A precision guided humour assignment)

We're fighting the Great War on Terror with perhaps our most potent weapon still wrapped in its sheath.
We've got something that would turn the most committed of terrorists into a blob of putty, and we refuse to use it.
Of course, it comes from the world of music.
It's not Barbra Nose Streisand, even though that would provide some high-quality weaponry.
It's not heavy metal. The big hair on these guys would be pretty potent, as would the white noise they create.
It's not even emo, the rage amongst the teens, with its confusing screeching at the top of one's lungs with singing.
It's the Chicken Dance.
The Chicken Dance is a standby at weddings. If you've been to a wedding in many parts of North America, the odds are decent that the disc jockey or band will have played the Chicken Dance. You've seen how this particular tune turns perfectly normal people into flapping, squawking idiots. You've seen its potency first hand. You may even have participated yourself.
Imagine what this would do to terror cells.
It would drive 'em wacko.
So, generals, forget those small thermonuclear devices. Unleash the Chicken Dance on 'em.
The terrorists will pay you to take them away, ha-ha, he-he, ho-ho.