Hillary's Valentine's Day list

Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign appears to be hitting a few snags. As Captain Ed reports, she's being found wanting in many respects, even by those who by predilection would back her.
Ed quotes Gerard Baker of the Times of London:
Few deny that Mrs Clinton is razor-sharp and politically savvy. But even supporters worry about her personal skills, at least before a large audience. She is a somewhat wooden speaker with a hectoring style at times more reminiscent of Al Gore than her husband. And unlike Bill, she projects a lofty, distant air that has been likened to the Queen of Sheba in a power suit.
Last weekend Ken Mehlman, the Republican National Committee chairman, homed in on Mrs Clinton’s personality, saying that she was too angry. His aim was both to pinpoint her weaknesses and to needle her, and it seems to have worked. ...
The hope in her camp is that people will believe that Mrs Clinton has her husband’s political strengths and none of his weaknesses. The growing fear is that she incites the same level of loathing and suspicion as her husband always did, but has none of the charm and personality to deflect it.
So, it would seem that Hillary is going to have to resort to other means to eliminate her rivals -- real and imagined -- for the nomination.
The cracked research team at either orr has uncovered a double-triple-secret list of Valentine's Day gifts prepared and acquired by Hillary herself to give to those who would deny her her coronation at the 2008 Democratic National Convention:
Howard Dean: A lifetime supply of sedatives.
John Kerry: A faulty pair of skis to use at Davos.
Al Gore: Amphetamines disguised as chocolate candy.
Russ Feingold: Nothing (he's not big enough to challenge her).
Bill Clinton: A permanent case of laryngitis and impotence.
Mark Warner: A hunting trip with Dick Cheney.