Thursday, February 09, 2006

T-shirts that will get you places

From the Haute Couture desk at either orr comes this guide to Getting Tossed From the State of the Union Address:

You want to be a disruptive force. It's in your blood. You love the attention it brings you.
So you need a t-shirt that will get you ejected from the State of the Union address.
We've got a bunch of 'em for you.
10. The "United States of Halliburton" t-shirt. The vice-president takes his abuse in this creation from the house of Kos.
9. The Saint Osama t-shirt. This depicts the noted al-Qaeda bankroller with a halo. Of course, this is wishful thinking, because they don't offer halos where Osama's going, nor will they have 72 virgins at his disposal.
8. The "Impeach Sam Alito" t-shirt. This is a hot-off-the-presses, brand-new model, sponsored by NARAL and the Anti-Christian Lunatics Union. Endorsed by Goria Sternum.
7. The "Ban Bush, Not Books" t-shirt. Sponsored by Librarians against the Patriot Act.
6. The "I Was Bought by Jack Abramoff" t-shirt. This creation carries pictures of Tom DeLay and other congressmen caught up in the scandal. There is a model that carries the pictures of Democrats bought by Abramoff, but it's available only in XXXXXXXXXL, so they'll all fit.
5. The "Hugo Chavez Is My Hero" t-shirt. This shows the Venezuelan crackpot despot with Cindy Sheehan, Bobby Kennedy Jr., and other Democratic icons. Not endorsed by Citgo (they want your money).
4. The "I Didn't Sleep With Bill Clinton" t-shirt. This is a limited-edition product, since few leftoids are interested.
3. The "I Outed Valerie Plame" t-shirt. This is another one of those risque offerings, as it depicts Ms. Plame, the CIA sort-of-operative, in what can only be described as a compromising position with Rosie O'Donnell.
2. The "Koran Flushers Association" t-shirt. A popular item among the anti-dhimmitude crowd, this shows not only the Koran being flushed down a giant toilet, but Osama, the nutcase in Iran, and several other Islamofascist leaders being flushed down with the Koran.
1. The naked Hillary Clinton t-shirt, with the motto "Hillary Rocks My Socks." This may not bring immediate ejection, since the law enforcement types who will be charged with removing you from the gallery will be nauseated and need some time to recover. And, if they don't recover quickly enough, the crowd will assault you intensely. The side benefit of this is that getting a few Moveon morons arrested for felonious assault is always a good thing.
So what if it's late? Deal with it.