The Moose Mountain Mountie

Via Dust My Broom:
TORONTO (CP) - Travellers from the United States would rather visit Mexico and the Caribbean than the Great White North, tourism officials complained Wednesday as they urged all levels of government to generate some badly needed buzz about Canada.
“Too many Americans are not considering Canada for vacation,” said Rod Seiling, president of the Greater Toronto Hotel Association.
“Unfortunately, when they think of our country, they only see the age-old stereotype of the three M’s - moose, mountains and Mounties.”
Raskolnikov added another factor -- moonbats, of which I ran into quite a few when I took my son to Toronto for his 13th birthday trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame.
Anyway, one of the commenters there had a great line...
Spare a thought for the Moose Mountain Mountie, he’s the boringest man on earth… God, there’s a country song in there, please don’t write it!
Of course, I did...

Spare a thought for the Moose Mountain Mountie,
He’s the boringest man on the earth.
He’s been there so long he’s become a light fixture,
and not one soul knows what he’s worth.

He wandered out west from the wilds of Toronto
in search of a six-pack of beer.
He took a wrong turn outside of Kenora
and found himself sitting out here.

So please spare a thought for the Moose Mountain Mountie,
The boringest man on the earth.
He still thinks that Pierre Trudeau runs the country,
And everyone gives him wide berth.

He dreams of the days when he met John Sebastian
and played the kazoo for a night.
But mostly he stares at the side of the mountain
In search of the great bird in flight.

So please spare a thought for the Moose Mountain Mountie,
The boringest man on the earth.
Someday he’ll return to Portage la Prairie.
Then we’ll find out just what he’s worth.

Oh well.