How to attract more anti-war protesters
The topic: How to make anti-war protests bigger.
"We just don't have the numbers we did in the '60s," said Hanoi Jane. "Those were the days, my friend."
"Yeah, we can't get it done," said Mother Cindy. "We need to get it done to overthrow Chimpy McBushHalliburtonCheney and install our Red flag over the White House."
"You know," said the ghost of Ernesto Guevara, "there is a way to get it done."
"What, oh sainted one?"
"Hook on to these illegal aliens protests."
"You mean undocumented residents."
"Cut the bull and speak plain language, you fools. They're illegally in your country and you know it. Use 'em."
"But we do," said Fat Ted. "They're our servants and landscapers and housecleaners and drug dealers."
"Use 'em, you knuckleheads. What did they get out in L.A.? Half a million? You never got those kinds of numbers out there in the glory days of Vietnam."
"But they're so... so... so common," whined Alex B. "I mean, construction workers and all. We can't associate with them."
"That's your problem, butthead. You're such a bleeping snob that you can't get next to the very people who could put you over the top. You ain't gonna get no revolution until you suck it up and get down with the real people. Why do you think I was so successful?"
"And so dead," snarked Alex B.
"You see anybody wearing any of your t-shirts, you no-talent whore?"
"So take my advice. Hook up with the illegal aliens and you'll get the numbers you need. Now, I'm outta here. I can only stand to stay with limousine liberals like you for a few minutes. Otherwise, my aura gets tarnished."