Friday, July 01, 2005

Return for re-grooving, redux (UPDATED)

Updated 3:13 p.m. Friday July 1 2005. This candidate couldn't wait.

It's another weekend on the horizon. And it's time once again for Return for Re-grooving, where we take a look at the idiots of the week and suggest an attitude readjustment.
Without further ado, let's get to this week's programme...
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The newly-elected president of Iran (which, in translation, means the public face of this year's Ayatollah Ho-Ho-Ho-Kus) was one of the terrorists who stormed the U.S. Embassy in 1979, which led to the creation of the TV newsmagazine "Nightline." That's enough for us to require that we re-groove this "bastard" (quote courtesy of Army Col. Charles Scott, who was one of the hostages in the embassy).
Rick Mercer. He's an alleged comic from Canada who is paid by the Librano government. It's a well-known fact that Libranos have no sense of humor. Re-groove this sucker forthwith.
Susan Parker. As the fair Conservative Princess points out, Ms. Parker is taking the Catholic owner of an inn in Vermont -- the home of How-weird Dean -- before that state's Kangaroo Court (read: Human Rights Commission) because he expressed concerns that he and his family wouldn't have their hearts into hosting a civil union ceremony for Ms. Parker and her lesbian partner. She doesn't have her groove on, so let's get re-grooving.
Tom Pinkney. He's the Canadian refugee board adjudicator who denied a Chinese asylum-seeker permanent refuge in Canada because the guy worked for prisons in China... and fled because he could not live with himself doing what would be required of him there. Whether he's a puppet or an idiot is not clear, but one thing is -- he must be re-grooved immediately.
(Update here) Michael Shefchik. This candidate for re-grooving comes from The Museum of Left Wing Lunacy. He gave one of his students in an English course at a California (where else?) community college an "F" for mentioning God in an essay -- the topic of which he had approved -- concerning religion and government. The school that hired this yo-yo, Victor Valley Community College, still has a chance to redeem itself. This "gentleman," however, does not. Re-grooving time.
The fools who voted to legalize same-sex marriage in Canada. People of faith, be very afraid, as my friend The Great Pumpkin observes. It's gonna take a miracle to re-groove these folks, but we gotta try.
Until next time, this is either orr for Return For Re-grooving.
Portions of this programme have been transcribed. Others probably should have been omitted.