College Choices 2005: The Shapiro School of Governmental Ethics (UPDATED)

Now that graduation days are just about all done, my crack research staff here has informed me that there are some new schools drawing a lot of attention from the Class of 2005.
This is the first part of a series that will examine the institutions of higher education that are attracting the newly matriculated.
THE SHAPIRO SCHOOL OF GOVERNMENTAL ETHICS
Opened in 2004 by the Hon. Jacques Saada, the school is named for its president, Dr. Bernard Shapiro.
Dr. Shapiro has earned degrees from some of the finest progressive institutions in North America, including Harvard, Boston University, and McGill. In fact, Dr. Shapiro is a professor emeritus at McGill, the landmark Anglophone university in Montreal.
The Shapiro School of Governmental Ethics is not a diploma mill. It takes a long, long, long time for those involved in the school to conclude their work. In fact, Dr. Shapiro is constantly studying the curriculum to see just what has to be done. All students, however, must master the mantra of "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil."
TESTIMONIALS
"The Shapiro School taught me a lot about the ethics of dealing with sex-trade workers." - J. Sgro, Toronto
"I think it's just a wonderful operation, especially for someone with no ethics like me." - P. Martin, Montreal
"I could have used this when I was still around." - J. Chretien (retired), Shawinigan
"For the ethically challenged, the Shapiro School is the right place." - T. Murphy, Ottawa
INFORMATION
Write to Third Rock From The Sun, Trudeau Memorial Shower Stall, CFB Petawawa.
Call (899) THIEVES.
E-mail anythinggoes@canada.ca

Shoutouts to Steve and Stephen.

NEXT: The Durbin-Dean School of Advanced Delusional Thought.

UPDATE 6-18 7:39 pm: Whoops! We left out some very important information.
TUITION
Tuition is $5,000... cash only (no checks, no credit cards). Leave it in a plain brown envelope in the cafeteria after your interview.